Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
