oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
