Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
