Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
