it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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