If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
