He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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