There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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