I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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