Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
