There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
