the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
