Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
