i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
