Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You were trust falling into bushes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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