I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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