i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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