Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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