You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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