i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
