my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
