You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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