just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
