Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and she was petting her beer can
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
