'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its not stalking. its research.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
