How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
