Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
