there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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