I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
