I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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