so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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