Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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