what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
