If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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