Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
