I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize