You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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