I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
vagina is talking i cant
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
