Can Purell be used as lube?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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