We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
