I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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