so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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