i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
