When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
