i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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