she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
