Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I forgot wine drunk hurts
there is puke in my bra ... again
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