I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
