Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
