my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want to make out with him forever
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
