Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
