a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the condom got lost in my hair
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
