Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
