With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
