I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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