Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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