i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
