I look better un-naked...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
